Empowering Parents of Children with Behavioral and Emotional Challenges
The Underappreciated Developmental Fragility of Males
Through my work with children and their parents, coupled with my doctoral research, I have learned that not all children are created equally. Males exhibit developmental challenges throughout their lifetimes that are often ignored or underappreciated by society (Farrell & Grey, 2018; Reeves, 2022; Schore, 2017).
These developmental challenges of boys have been documented in the popular and research literature for quite some time. Books and popular magazine articles such as Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys, Are Boys the Weaker Sex?, Are Men the Weaker Sex?, The Boy Crisis, and more recently Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male is Struggling, Why it Matters, and What to do About it? have attempted to make this information more accessible.
Unfortunately, there is a tendency for some people to assume that by highlighting the needs of boys, we are downplaying the needs of girls. The reality is that boys and girls are very different, and they suffer in different ways. Thus, they both require attention.
Since over the years I have worked more with males of all ages, a major aspect of my work with parents is to provide psychoneuroeducation about how males of all ages require much more support than their female peers due to their developmental fragility.
In addition, my doctoral research suggests that while both boys and girls can exhibit non-formularity, boys appear to exhibit more behavioral and emotional challenges. Indeed, biological sex significantly impacts how non-formularity is expressed through the effects of male hormones on developmental plasticity and early-life stress (Del Giudice et al., 2018; Schore, 2017). Importantly, while difficulties exhibited by females are mostly associated with genetics, challenges exhibited by males are more susceptible to gene-environment interactions (Gualtieri & Hicks, 1985). Interestingly, in a recent book on the challenges of boys and men, Galloway (2025) states that “seldom in recent memory has there been a cohort that’s fallen farther, faster” (p. 2).
Below, I present research findings on the developmental fragility of males across the lifespan (i.e., prenatal and perinatal, infancy and childhood, adolescence and adulthood).
Prenatal and Perinatal Developmental Challenges
The developmental challenges of males start while they are in utero, as they are exposed to increased injury and challenges during pregnancy. For example, placentas carrying female fetuses are better able to regulate maternal stress and inflammation, providing enhanced protection compared to placentas carrying male fetuses (Clifton, 2010). Vatten and Skjærven (2004) stated that “it takes a higher number of male than female embryos to produce a live-born infant” (p. 47). Males are 66% more likely to be born prematurely (Shabecoff, 2014). Since most babies that are born prematurely are boys, this means that all the complications that go along with premature birth apply to males at a higher rate. Thus, they have higher mortality and morbidity when compared to their female peers (Peacock et al., 2012).
The male embryo is also more susceptible to maternal stress (Hansen et al., 1999) and is at a higher risk of congenital deformities and stillbirth (Taylor, 1985). Newborn males tend to be developmentally delayed by 4 to 6 weeks relative to newborn females (Gualtieri & Hicks, 1985). These developmental delays also increase their vulnerability to stress and toxins that can adversely affect brain development (Schore, 2017).
Infancy and Childhood Developmental Challenges
Newborn males are more negatively affected by postpartum depression than their female peers (Murray et al., 1993; Sinclair & Murray, 1998). Male infants exhibit a heightened response to maternal emotions and are less adept at emotional self-regulation. They smile less, cry more, and become more irritable than female infants (Schore, 2017). Thus, they require enhanced “regulatory scaffolding from their mothers” compared to females (Tronick & Reck, 2009, p. 149). Also, boys require more parental support to develop a secure attachment (Kraemer, 2000).
Boys display more reading challenges (Rutter & Yule, 1975), hyperactivity (Taylor, 1994), and exhibit more clumsiness, stammering, and Tourette’s (Freeman et al., 2000) as compared to girls (Ounsted & Taylor, 1972). Boys account for 90% of discipline challenges (Gurian, 2011, p. 57). Thus, they are dismissed from school three times as often as girls (Farrell & Grey, 2018). Boys exhibit a higher incidence of allergies (Kotz et al., 2011) and asthma (Chowdhury et al., 2021). Finally, boys exhibit increased prevalence of hearing (Mehra et al., 2009) and vision (Mervis et al., 2002) challenges than girls.
Adolescence and Adulthood Developmental Challenges
There is a tendency to think that developmental challenges are only present in children. This is not the case for males. When these challenges are not acknowledged and supported during childhood, by adolescence, they affect more areas of their functioning. For example, teenage males account for 80% of high school dropouts (Gurian, 2011). They also have less confidence in romantic relationships than their female counterparts (Giordano et al., 2006).
Young men tend to exhibit a more pronounced and acute physiological response to stress than their female peers (Wang et al., 2007). Between the ages of 10 and 14, almost twice as many boys commit suicide compared to girls. Between 15 and 19, four times as many boys as girls commit suicide (Farrell & Grey, 2018). Also, when young men experience relationship stress, they are more likely to engage in substance abuse when compared with young women (Simon & Barrett, 2010).
Young men are 66% more likely than their female peers to be living with their parents (Farrell & Grey, 2018). Male college students are more likely to interrupt their studies and to fail to complete their degrees. Thus, for every 100 college degrees earned by women, 74 are earned by men (Reeves, 2022, p. x). Adult men exhibit higher HPA and autonomic nervous system responses compared to their female peers. This is associated with increased cardiovascular disease, immune suppression, and aggression in men (Wang et al., 2007).
Summary
In summary, research findings suggest that males of all ages struggle more as they navigate the developmental stages of life than females do. Males need much more support than females. I know, it is very counterintuitive. Boys might appear rough and independent, and eventually they start to look and act like grown men. But emotionally and physiologically, they are significantly more susceptible to challenges that negatively impact their development and overall health. Our society might feel uncomfortable accepting these findings, but parents of boys need to be aware of this reality to provide the extra support that their boys might need.
No news is not necessarily “good news” when it comes to male development. My parent coaching practice is infused with this research as I help parents address their children’s challenges and reduce the likelihood that their children will continue to struggle.
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