I primarily work with parents of children who exhibit behavioral, emotional, learning, social, and relational challenges. I call these children non-formulaic children because they are neurobiologically wired differently. Thus, they require parenting that adapts to their differences.

Parents bring specific examples of challenges they have experienced with their child during the previous week. We talk about what the child did and how the parents responded. I then help the parents explore what the challenging behavior could mean, based on the child’s developmental history, and how they can address any underlying challenges that may be masked by the behavior. I provide examples of “relational narratives” that parents can use to help the child express their possible challenges. I also provide psychoneuroeducation on the developmental qualities of non-formulaic children.

Non-formularity is a personality profile I developed during my doctoral studies to describe most of the clients I have worked with. Non-formularity is not a diagnosis. Instead, it is a way to conceptualize the source of the challenges that are ultimately diagnosed. Non-formularity is a meta-construct that combines knowledge from the fields of sensitivity, creativity, neurosis, and addiction to help parents understand their child and, most importantly, develop a parenting approach that supports their non-formulaic child’s needs.

Non-formularity is a concept developed without referring to the literature on autism or neurodiversity. While autism is a psychiatric diagnosis, non-formularity is a personality profile. It has been my clinical experience that non-formulaic children are usually diagnosed with anxiety, depression, ADHD, oppositional defiance disorder, learning disabilities, have addictive tendencies, and display increased levels of creative abilities.

I am a relational therapist. My clinical training has been influenced by psychodynamic, object relations, and interpersonal theories. Broadly speaking, these theories suggest that the parent-child relationship is the healing ingredient that improves behavioral challenges. From this perspective, behavioral improvements are directly associated with the effect of a supportive, trusting relationship on regulating the child’s sensitive stress response. In addition, my work is informed by the intersection of attachment theory, developmental neuroscience, and evolutionary biology, as well as by gene-environment interactions.

The parents I work with report seeing results soon after they make changes to their parenting approach. I work with most of my clients for about six to nine months. Some need fewer sessions, whereas others choose to work with me for longer because they continue to get value, as the basic concepts can be applied not only to their other children but also to any type of relationship, including their own. Regardless of how many sessions you are interested in, I suggest we meet weekly to build the trust and cadence needed to make long-lasting changes to your parenting approach.

Most people who work with me have been exposed to my work directly through parenting workshops or by viewing one of my videos online, or indirectly by hearing about it from a client. However, if, after reading the information I have included on this website, you feel that my work resonates with you, you and your family will most likely benefit from my approach.

A major aspect of my non-formularity conceptualization suggests that non-formulaic children exhibit behavioral challenges due to the interaction between their genes (i.e., hyperreactive temperament) and their environment. In other words, when the environment is not supportive of their development, they face challenges; when it provides the support they need, those challenges dissipate. Since genes can’t be changed, the focus is on making changes to the environment, and these changes can only be executed by the child’s parent. Examples of changes to the environment might include changes in morning or evening routines, changes in diet, elimination of consequences, and choosing a different school. While I might never meet your child, after working with many non-formulaic children in my early years as a child therapist, I have learned to recognize their neurobiological similarities, which I can identify from parent-completed assessments and information shared during our parent coaching sessions.